I Know What it's Like to Feel Lonely
by EternalDreamer-92
Summary: During a world meeting, Greece makes a passing comment on something Chibitalia did to Turkey years ago; leading Canada to ask Italy- if he CAN fight, why doesn't he? Canada/Italy, written for the kink meme. Mentions of canon character death.


_I know what it's like to feel sad..._

Looking back on it, Canada really wasn't sure why he had become friends -and then more- with North Italy. Not that he didn't like him; that wasn't the case at all. But, well, Italy was loud, and liked to whine, and loved food, and was a pacifist (if that's what you could call it).

And Canada was quiet, and never complained, and admittedly loved food, too, but he was definitely not a pacifist- as anyone who had played hockey with him could attest to. But, then again, opposites attract, don't they?

And thinking about it, Canada decided that he rather liked those traits of Italy's. It was nice to have some noise to fill up the silence of his house; and Italy had become in tune enough with Canada to be able to notice when he wanted to complain and subsequently complain enough for the both of them. It was good to have someone around who actually liked good food, and when Canada got too angry (or drunk), Italy could stop him doing something too stupid.

And Canada had learned to just accept these facts as part of life. Until one day during a world meeting, when Turkey had been acting even more arrogant than usual, and Greece had for once sat up and spoke loudly enough to remind everyone of when he beaten by a still-chibi Italy. Italy had flushed slightly at that, quickly finding a loose thread on his pants that evidently required great focus to pick out.

But after the meeting, once they had gone home and changed and Italy was in the kitchen cooking dinner, Canada walked up behind him, surprising his lover by wrapping his arms around his waist. Italy jumped slightly at the contact, but soon settled back against Canada.

After just staying like that for a moment, Canada pressed a kiss against the Italian's neck before asking, "Feli... can I ask you something, eh?"

"Ve, of course, Mattie!"

Canada hummed against the others neck before moving to stand to his side, a few feet away from him, so as to be able to look at his face. "Feliciano... hearing what Greece said earlier, it seems like you can fight, right?"

Italy froze for a moment before turning back to the pot of sauce on the stove. "Ve... yes, I suppose I can..." He admitted.

"And I know from dancing and spring cleaning and other... er, more personal activities that you're pretty fit and strong..."

"I... guess I am..."

"So then... why don't you fight? Why do you always run away if you could win?"

Silence.

After a few moments, Canada worried that he had said something to seriously upset his lover. Picking nervously at the hem of his sweatshirt, he wondered if he should say something. The silence was quickly broken, though, as Italy took a deep breath before beginning to talk.

"Matthew... ve, I've talked to you about my Grandpa before, right?"

"I... well, yeah, but what does that have to-"

"I told you," Italy cut in, "About... how he died, right? Ve... it was horrible... watching him get slowly more battered and bruised, day after day, until one day he didn't come back..."

Canada froze, before taking a step closer to his lover. "Feliciano..." He said softly, "I..."

"And... did I tell you about... my first love?"

Hearing nothing but silence from the other man, Italy continued, staring intently at the pasta sauce. "He was... really, the sweetest boy," he chuckled, "Very young- we were both still chibi then-, but, ve... He scared me at first, but he was very nice; he left me food, and played with me, and... said that he loved me... But then he had to leave. For war."

Canada was still struggling for something to say when a tearful Italy turned to him. "And right before he leaved, he kissed me, and said that he loved me, and then..." a sob escaped Italy, "And then h-he never came back...!"

Canada still didn't know what to say, so he settled instead for stepping forward and wrapping his arms around Italy, letting him sob into his shoulder. After a few minutes, Italy had managed to gain some control of his crying and pulled back.

"S-so... you see, Mattie... I c-can't fight... because I might get hurt and disappear like Grandpa Rome and Holy Roman Empire, o-or... I could do that to someone who has someone like me waiting at home for them... and Matthew, I couldn't do that..." He leant forward, resting his head against Canada's shoulder. "I couldn't... I don't want people to feel that... no one should ever have to feel lonely; especially not like that..."

Canada drew his arms tighter around Italy, whispering sweet nothings into his ear and letting them sink to the floor as Italy started sobbing again. Eventually, as Italy's sobs began to die down again, Canada whispered a more coherent sentence.

"Don't worry, Feliciano... I'll make sure that no one ever does that to you... and I promise that no one will do it to me, either; or to Romano, or Spain, or Germany, or Japan, or Poland, or Hungary... I know what it's like to feel lonely, too. And I promise that it won't happen to you again. Not if I can help it."

Italy's sobs faded out as he smiled slightly hugged Canada tighter, silent thanks being there and knowing just what to say to make him feel better.

* * *

><p>Wow, long time now see ^^;. I'm going to be writing more fanfiction now, though (hopefully), so we should meet again soon :3.<p>

Written as a fill for the kink meme. The prompt was:

_Anyone paired with Italy, don't mind who. The theme is, well, why Italy does not fight. I mean, its not as if he's weak, he kicked Turkey/Ottoman Empire in the teeth of that one strip.  
><em>

_So, someone somehow asks Italy why he does not fight. I'm mostly expecting fluff, but smutt is fine as well._

_-Bonus- The other person is Canada!_

I usually don't go for this pairing, but this request was just so cute~ I wanted to give some more depth to Italy than just "he doesn't like fighting because he's lazy"; and this seemed fairly plausible to me.

The title comes from a lyrics of a song written by a director at my local theatre for our production of _The Last Unicorn, _"Why Do I Feel Lonely?"

_I know what it's like to be lonely,  
>I know what it's like to be sad,<br>I know what it's like to want to dream so bad..._

For those who know the story and are interested, it was sung in place of "Now That I'm a Woman" (or something like that) from the movie. So it was song by Unicorn/Almaphea, Molly Grue, Smendrick, the Harpy (who was a very different character), and the Cat. I love the song, and it was so much fun to sing (I was Molly). It jumped out at me as I was writing this, and seemed fitting, so... yeah XD

And the thing about the pairing is... I can kinda see it now that I've written it. Might write more for it, actually- at least a "how they got together" in this scenario.

Well, farewell for now- only for a little while, though. I've been working on some fics; and I'm actually working on a chaptered WIP on the kink meme that'll be posted when it's finished. Can you guess which it is?


End file.
